Strategies for a Happy Life

How to Be Happy
By Tara Parker-Pope @nytimeswell

Behavioral scientists have spent a lot of time studying what makes us happy (and what doesn’t). We know happiness can predict health and longevity, and happiness scales can be used to measure social progress and the success of public policies. But happiness isn’t something that just happens to you. Everyone has the power to make small changes in our behavior, our surroundings and our relationships that can help set us on course for a happier life.

Mind
Happiness often comes from within. Learn how to tame negative thoughts and approach every day with optimism.
CONQUER NEGATIVE THINKING

All humans have a tendency to be a bit more like Eeyore than Tigger, to ruminate more on bad experiences than positive ones. It’s an evolutionary adaptation — over-learning from the dangerous or hurtful situations we encounter through life (bullying, trauma, betrayal) helps us avoid them in the future and react quickly in a crisis.

But that means you have to work a little harder to train your brain to conquer negative thoughts. Here’s how:

Don’t try to stop negative thoughts. Telling yourself “I have to stop thinking about this,” only makes you think about it more. Instead, own your worries. When you are in a negative cycle, acknowledge it. “I’m worrying about money.” “I’m obsessing about problems at work.”

Treat yourself like a friend. When you are feeling negative about yourself, ask yourself what advice would you give a friend who was down on herself. Now try to apply that advice to you.

Challenge your negative thoughts. Socratic questioning is the process of challenging and changing irrational thoughts. Studies show that this method can reduce depression symptoms. The goal is to get you from a negative mindset (“I’m a failure.”) to a more positive one (“I’ve had a lot of success in my career. This is just one setback that doesn’t reflect on me. I can learn from it and be better.”) Here are some examples of questions you can ask yourself to challenge negative thinking.

First, write down your negative thought, such as “I’m having problems at work and am questioning my abilities.”

Then ask yourself: “What is the evidence for this thought?”
“Am I basing this on facts? Or feelings?”
“Could I be misinterpreting the situation?”
“How might other people view the situation differently?
“How might I view this situation if it happened to someone else?”
The bottom line: Negative thinking happens to all of us, but if we recognize it and challenge that thinking, we are taking a big step toward a happier life.

CONTROLLED BREATHING

Science is just beginning to provide evidence that the benefits of this ancient practice are real. Studies have found, for example, that breathing practices can help reduce symptoms associated with anxiety, insomnia, post-traumatic stress disorder, depression and attention deficit disorder. For centuries yogis have used breath control, or pranayama, to promote concentration and improve vitality. Buddha advocated breath-meditation as a way to reach enlightenment.

Try it.
REWRITE YOUR STORY

Writing about oneself and personal experiences — and then rewriting your story — can lead to behavioral changes and improve happiness. (We already know that expressive writing can improve mood disorders and help reduce symptoms among cancer patients, among other health benefits.)

Some research suggests that writing in a personal journal for 15 minutes a day can lead to a boost in overall happiness and well-being, in part because it allows us to express our emotions, be mindful of our circumstances and resolve inner conflicts. Or you can take the next step and focus on one particular challenge you face, and write and rewrite that story.

We all have a personal narrative that shapes our view of the world and ourselves. But sometimes our inner voice doesn’t get it right. By writing and then editing our own stories, we can change our perceptions of ourselves and identify obstacles that stand in the way of our personal well-being. The process is similar to Socratic questioning (referenced above). Here’s a writing exercise:

Write a brief story about your struggle. I’m having money problems. I am having a hard time making friends in a new city. I’m never going to find love. I’m fighting with my spouse.
Now write a new story from the viewpoint of a neutral observer, or with the kind of encouragement you’d give a friend.
Money is a challenge but you can take steps to get yourself into financial shape.
Everyone struggles in their first year in a new city. Give it some time. Join some groups.
Don’t focus on finding love. Focus on meeting new people and having fun. The rest will follow.
Couples argue. Here’s what your situation looks like to a neutral observer.

Numerous studies show that writing and rewriting your story can move you out of your negative mindset and into a more positive view of life. “The idea here is getting people to come to terms with who they are, where they want to go,” said James Pennebaker, a psychology professor at the University of Texas who has pioneered much of the research on expressive writing.  “I think of expressive writing as a life course correction.”

GET MOVING

When people get up and move, even a little, they tend to be happier than when they are still. A study that tracked the movement and moods of cellphone users found that people reported the most happiness if they had been moving in the past 15 minutes than when they had been sitting or lying down. Most of the time it wasn’t rigorous activity but just gentle walking that left them in a good mood. Of course, we don’t know if moving makes you happy or if happy people just move more, but we do know that more activity goes hand-in-hand with better health and greater happiness.

PRACTICE OPTIMISM

Optimism is part genetic, part learned. Even if you were born into a family of gloomy Guses, you can still find your inner ray of sunshine. Optimism doesn’t mean ignoring the reality of a dire situation. After a job loss, for instance, many people may feel defeated and think, “I’ll never recover from this.” An optimist would acknowledge the challenge in a more hopeful way, saying, “This is going to be difficult, but it’s a chance to rethink my life goals and find work that truly makes me happy.”

And thinking positive thoughts and surrounding yourself with positive people really does help. Optimism, like pessimism, can be infectious. So make a point to hang out with optimistic people.

Self Compassion is different than Self Esteem:

While Self Esteem compares ourselves with others, Self Compassion is intrinsic; it comes from within ourselves.

By now, most of us know that taking good care of ourselves involves eating whole, unprocessed foods, maintaining an awesome exercise routine, staying hydrated, meditating and doing whatever other self-care rituals feel good to each of us on a regular basis.

But self-care and happiness actually involve a lot more than just the physical stuff. We need to be nice to ourselves, plain and simple. There is increasing scientific research on the importance of self-compassion for health and well-being. Fortunately, our friends at Happifycame up with this neat infographic to explain just how important self-compassion really is.

http://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mindbodygreen.com%2F0-17390%2Fscience-says-you-should-be-nicer-to-yourself-infographic.html&h=-AQFqbtLZAQFbqNF-TDTE0KwcEHATnI1H8SLR4d1bzsC9Pg&enc=AZP7y8ZNL4F6qyzM_oXWGbjdBhAJiq_1DG45MHnPxcG5Z3kGpRvGX40M2JJW95OCHLyLz86pnUPl-YJY2L5gxi_IHEdI-ArvIxImvGH-Em4YtiEvG_eN-5SpN8Imxl8otdZdVREWNktRWdzzsHkNha_R8lNom_U7YTUakYSQyC1BNg&s=1

What is Hypnotherapy?

Hypnotherapy is an educational communication that flows from your conscious mind to your unconscious mind and allows them both to believe the same message.

This is valuable communication, because in order to attain our goals, our conscious and unconscious mind must agree. For instance, if consciously you are saying to yourself, "I want to lose 30 lbs.", and your subconscious is saying, "I like this extra padding, it keeps people from approaching me and I feel less vulnerable and threatened", you are going to hang on to that weight, or you may lose it for a while and gain it right back. Your subconscious must be in agreement with your conscious desires and goals to be successful.

How is Hypnotherapy different from Hypnosis ? They are one and the same. They are interchangeable terms. However, I use Hypnotherapy because I am a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) and utilize my counseling skills when I work with my clients to help solve their difficulties and reach their goals.
Hypnosis is a very quick, easy and effective counseling tool.  It helps my clients reach their goals faster, with less struggle. It reinforces their strengths and assists them to focus on Positive Thoughts.

What about Stage Hypnosis? Stage hypnosis is the most common impression of hypnosis. This is the entertainment where a Hypnotist leads people into doing things on stage such as clucking like a chicken, or dancing, etc. Keep in mind that these people volunteer for this and they secretly want to be on stage, and perform for the audience. You have to be willing to be hypnotized. You cannot be hypnotized against your will.

Hypnosis takes you to the same level of relaxation and focus as does deep Meditation. You are in the same brain wave length when in deep meditation as when you are in Hypnosis. Both are deeply relaxing and pleasant. Hypnotherapy utilizes this relaxation state to focus and commit your mind more deeply to your goals by means of positive suggestions. You are always in control when you are in hypnosis. Hypnosis does not change your morals, ethics, or religious beliefs, only the ideas you are wanting to change such as being a Nonsmoker, getting rid of a bad habit, finding and appreciating  your strengths, letting go of unwanted pounds, feeling more confident in your abilities, etc.

It is a Healthy and relaxing experience that you are participating in for your own Self Improvement.

Positive Self Talk

What Do You Say When You Talk to Yourself?

Positive Self Talk is the number ONE way to Self Improvement, with a minimum investment in time, and the convenience of always being available for you to utilize.


Negative Self Talk does nothing. That's it. Nothing. It doesn't make you feel good. It doesn't make you try harder. It doesn't motivate you. It doesn't make you do better next time. It probably reinforces negativity in you life even more.

Positive Self Talk makes you feel better. It releases the natural feel good chemical Serotonin into your blood stream. It Motivates you. It makes you work harder. It makes you Do better next time. It improves your performance in anything you are working on.
It gives you a positive outlook and improves your life satisfaction immensely.

How do we formulate Positive Self Talk Statement?

1.    Always make the statement in a Positive form.

Example: I always eat small portions of Healthy foods.
versus: I don't eat cake.

Try this... "Don't think about the Peach."

What are you thinking about?  ...  the Peach. Right?
        Your subconscious mind does not do negatives. Put all statement in positive terms.

2. Alway put statements in the first person.

Example: I will,  I am,  I do,  My life is,

3. Always in the present tense, as if the goal is already accomplished.

Example: I always eat healthy.  I sleep straight through the might.
I always make the hills on my bike.

"Try not. Do or do not, there is no try."

-- Yoda

Try means = NEVER

Avoid words: Try, would, Could, should, Not, don't.

For example while biking if I say, "I'm going to try to make that hill." Will I make the hill?
No, I will not. I'm only kidding myself. However, after much experimentation, if I tell myself, "I make all the hills. I aways make the hills." I do make the hill, every time.
In fact I have now added, "All hills are doable." A new experience for me.

If you want to super-charge your positive self talk add the word "Love" to your positive affirmation. For Instance: "I love hill climbing, I love the hills."  Even after 100 miles, 10,000 feet of climbing, and "the wall", I was still climbing very comfortably.
I love the hills.


Examples of Positive Self Talk:

Everyone wants to buy what I am selling today.
I always make this putt. I am a perfect putter, I make all my putts.
I weigh 125 lbs. I always eat small portions of healthy foods.
I am a great presenter. I enjoy presenting. I am calm and relaxed when I present.


How do we Change negative self talk into Positive Self Talk?

Pick out 2 to 4positive self talk statements that are your goals. Repeat them to yourself.
Notice negative self talk, change the statement 180 degrees and turn it into a positive statement. Repeat it 3 times either out loud or to yourself, whenever it occurs. The negative statement will go away, the positive statement will replace it. 

Best Times to Use Positive Self Talk:

Right before you fall asleep.
Right when you open your eyes in the morning.
This is the time when your sub conscious mind is most accessible, most open to suggestion.

Positive Self Talk

The easiest way to improve yourself and your life, as you live it.
Positive Self Talk is the most portable, easy to use, self improvement tool there is.
It is always with you wherever you go. You do not need to take even 20 minutes out of your day to use it. You can use it on the fly. You get the benefits and positive effects of it immediately with use. And you feel good while doing it.

Happy thoughts!